Everything seemed to be working fine. Suddenly everything turned topsy turvy. Its nothing but a promotion not coming my way. In fact this would have been the first promotion I would have had after working for 6 years. I had missed an earlier promotion because I switched companies. I was feeling so excited about it. Now all the excitement is gone. To whom am I supposed to show my frustration. I showed it to my present manager, a very understanding man. He said whatever you said is right but I am not in a position to help you, as I was not your manager during the assessment period. I went and talked to my previous manager. He said I did everything I can, but the other managers did not give a positive feedback.
I am known to be a person who tries to appease everyone around me. I know I always fail. I have failed once again. The most easiest promotion one can get in my organisation just slipped through my fingers.
Again the feeling of being a misfit in the present situation is creeping into me. Why o why? I always feel, that for every step I want to take, I have to slip 3 steps. The bruises, the pain, the headache, the heartache, the anger of failure everything seems to be so known to me now. I keep getting these feelings that I am very familiar with it now. The frown on the face, the lips dipping down, the wrinkles on my forehead seem to be a permanent feature.
I get excited whenever I see light at the end of the tunnel, only to know that it is an approaching train. The fear returns. The pounding of the heart starts. The headache starts.
My friend's wife once commented. if everything is coming in your way, then you are probably in the wrong lane. Wrong lane it is. But where is my right lane? Still searching......
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