The art of talking to a girl - Part One

This blog is strictly for Indian guys, and there may be specific references for South Indian guys. Others please excuse. This is not a crash course for pataofy (u know wat it means!) a girl. These ideas can be used to befriend a girl. It is just a small collection from what I had done, thought I should have done, what I would have done ..... Thinking of making this a series, lets see whether I continue.

I am writing this blog, not because I am a master, not because I have/ had a string of girl friends, not beucase all girls cling on to each word I say (most of them don't, I know. Failures are stepping stones to someplace called Success). There are somethings that have worked for me, some haven't. There are some do's and don'ts. So here I go......

Never use a line. There are very few girls who fall for it, and those few are not worth the effort. Girls have this antennae which repels such guys. So be yourself and when you get a chance pick up a conversation and make it interesting. And if you want to show how smart you are, this is not the time and place. If you want to breakup then show how smart you are, that is when she will hate you and you can easily break up. And most important of all. Cut the crap!

Chivalry is always appreciated. Please!!! It doesn't harm if you could open the door for her. Pick her phone and pass it on to her (without looking into it) when she is not around. Ask her if she wants coffee when you go to the vending machine. Smile for her silly jokes (even if there are many). Compliment on her new dress, when she is looking good.

Don't waste all your time for her. Girls like it when guys spend time with them, but they also like it when guys are sincere. It does not harm when you say you have work and let them fend for themselves.

Look her in the eyes. Please guys, you need to demarcate the girls you see. One, they are friends or the like, the other is the kind you will never choose to talk to. Dont let your eyes wander. Its nasty and they know. If you want to befriend this girl, please dont let your gaze go below her eyes, leave alone her head.

Avoid her gaze sometimes. Ok, you have got an opportunity to talk to her once. Now it is not necessary to talk to her every time you pass each other. It is sometimes good to avoid her gaze and go about your work. Don't show your desperation to talk to her.

You have got talent. Everybody has got talent. You need to showcase it, not boast about it. Do it casually as if it comes naturally to you. Now please don't try reading her palm. That is a cheap trick and sometimes backfires. Ask me.

Now I think, that is a good start. Shall continue sometime later. Until then, Cheers!!!!!

Recognition or Money: What makes you happy and Why?

We had a blog competition in my company, and this was my entry.


What makes me happy? Happiness itself is a relative term. It varies from person to person. What makes me happy will not make you happy. So before going into each of the options given, I will define myself.
Who am I? If I were Jackie Chan, I would have to make a movie to know. But I am a Software Engineer, so by definition I am not supposed to know who I am and what I want. Then again I will not know what makes me happy. So 'In pursuit of Happiness' I will go with an assumption of myself.
I am a simple, down-to-earth, honest, hardworking Software Engineer (now please don't laugh) with middle class values. I want to live in a comfortable house, have enough food to eat, cover myself with decent clothes, have money to buy medicines when I or my family members fall sick, save for my marriage (if I ever find the girl), my future (:)), my kids (if I get married – remember I have Middle class values) and most importantly, in the short term, have enough money to do Tax Savings.
All this, is taken care by my company (I meant the money part). So if I come to office in the morning, work hard and be honest, all my basic needs are taken care of. Wow! Am I happy? If life were so easy, wouldn't it be great?
But there is an irritating boss to report to (I am being hypothetical here), obnoxious cubicle mates (hypothetical again), and most of all the Season that falls between February to April (sometimes gets extended to May) - Appraisals!!! The Boss is not happy with whatever I do (a la Hari Sadu), the colleagues are always complaining that they have to work late hours, and the season of doubt, anger, anxiety, frustrations (none of mine, according to the hypothesis) affect me and casts a dark shadow. I try to motivate myself. How? By working harder, by moving away from all the ills that the corporate world has to offer.
An HR friend of mine once commented "The baby that cries gets the toffee". So when I just work, work and work and don’t get affected by anything that happens around me or to me, what will my boss think? "He would anyways be happy so I will give him what he deserves, I will give the other guy an early promotion" (or such). But I being human, at this (gross) injustice will feel sad and will be drawn into the vicious circle of doubt, anger, anxiety, frustrations - which till now were not affecting me. So if I had been recognized in some way, I would be happy. So at the end of the day, whoever I am, recognition will make me happy.
So does that mean I don’t need any money? No! Because my initial assumption, I realize, is wrong. I am not simple (ask my wife!), not down-to-earth (ask my friends), not honest and hardworking (ask my Boss). I am human after all. I am made of all ingredients that Adam was infused with when he ate the apple. My needs are not simple and they cannot be satisfied by any salary, how much ever I get. For instance, today if I am happy with a Tata Nano, I will longingly look at an Indica. If I get that, I will look at a Manza. When I buy a Manza, I will look at the Aria parked in the showroom and when I buy the Aria, Tata will introduce Jaguar in India.
So being human, I need money and also Recognition. I am like a child who wants both, the candy and the toy. After all, inside every grown up, there is a kid hiding somewhere.

Indian Cricket - A farce!

On this day, as I write this article, India has moved to the second place in the Group B points table in the 2011 World Cup. There are talks that there is a slight chance that India can be ousted from the World Cup, although there is a very small chance for that to happen. TOI, in its usual way of sensationalising news, had put the whole permutation combination in its Sports Section.

Now coming to the point of calling Indian Cricket a farce. What would happen if India doesn't make the cut and fails to qualify to the Quarter-finals? The ticket sales in the stadium will come down at least half, if not more. People will be so angry that after burning the effigies of MSD, Sachin (even the God will not be spared) will lose interest till the IPL starts. A majority will not tune into Star Sports and its sister channels for another month. The rates of the ads will decrease and Star Sports will have to try very hard to keep their heads above the water. In a case where advertisement costs are as per contract for the whole tournament, all the companies are eligible to ask a refund from BCCI, ala Vijay, Rajinikanth and Pawan Kalyan returning money to their distributors for the various flop movies that they had acted in. So BCCI in all prospects will make sure that India at least reaches the Quarter Final. That will at least give some solace to the cricket crazy Indian fans.



Now coming to the point of writing this blog. All the Indian players in the various interviews they were giving said that they will be playing for India but will win the Cup for Sachin and all that crap and veterans like Kapil Dev taking time out, countered them. But as far as I am concerned all this is bull shit. The fact is these guys are not playing for the country. They are in fact playing for a company called BCCI and the Indian Government has no role in it. If they were playing for the country then at least the Sports Ministry should have directed them to go to the Asian Games which they gave a miss. These fellas have the guts to say that they feel proud when they play for the country. At least we would have got one more medal! It is a big surprise that the TOI did not take this matter and sensationalise this! And the Indian people as usual chose to ignore this. Theywill go and see the matches in full force, get lathi-charged, shout their throats dry when the trumpet sounds, colour their bodies in paint, TOI will have pictures of Deepika Padukone with Siddharth Mallaya in a match, actresses posing semi-nude with the WorldCup logo on their backs and whereever possible.

Right Lane

I am on the right lane. For once I am happy and I found myself telling my manager that I feeling like coming to office every morning. And that was an honest confession. Not that I got my promotion after coming here, I feel good and lot of things working my way. I am able to cherish this and appreciate my experience here simply because I was really unhappy in my earlier place.

Life is good and I wear a smile on my face when I wake up. I am happy that I do so. Been long since I did that!